Just realized I was burning my book club debates by not timing my points

I was at our last meeting at Sarah's place in Chicago, and we were arguing about whether the unreliable narrator in the new mystery novel was a gimmick or genius. I had this killer point about how the author used the narrator's memory gaps to hide clues, but I spent like 5 minutes rambling about the setting instead. By the time I got to my real argument, three people had interrupted and the conversation had veered off into a debate about the cover art. So I started using my phone's stopwatch to give myself a hard 90-second limit per point, and I write down my main idea before I speak. Next meeting I tested it out, and my point actually landed cleanly without derailing the whole discussion. Has anyone else felt like their best arguments get lost in the shuffle during these debates?

2 comments

2 Comments

cameron_craig7d ago

That sticky note idea is actually genius and I might steal it for my next meeting. The thing about timing yourself is that it forces you to actually figure out what your main point is before you open your mouth, which is half the battle. I've been in book club for three years now and I swear half our debates get derailed because someone starts describing their favorite scene from chapter 4 and then someone else jumps in about how the movie adaptation handled it differently and suddenly we're talking about casting rumors for a sequel that hasn't even been announced yet. My husband always jokes that my book club needs a designated talk timer like they do in middle school debate class, but honestly that's not a terrible idea. The 90 second rule works pretty well for me too, though I've noticed some members get real territorial when you try to wrap up their point before they're done.

the_eric7d agoMost Upvoted

Used a similar trick in my D&D group when I kept losing the thread of my plans during combat. I scribble my one big move on a sticky note before my turn, keeps me from rambling about positioning or spells nobody cares about yet. Stick to that single point and you'll actually get heard.